Winking a man’s signal, permission to sin. Like anyone ever needs permission to be pieces of shit. Even if it’s not cheating. They do whatever the fuck they want to do, then cry and throw fits when something is not going their way. That’s why we’re the feminine sex, so we can baby them back into man-hood. Spoil them back onto their “thrones.” So they can go back to lording as the superior sex’s telling us who what when where and how until one day we get sick of being used as stepping stones and we push the fucker off, wink now, wink yourself back up right and this time try not to cry about it. Sir, Lord, King, whatever the fuck.
kendellns
June 7, 2019 — 9:58 pm
Dear writer —
The voice in this piece is forceful and unrelenting. It’s the first thing to draw me in to the piece and keeps me reading through the end. Without saying anything about the narrator in the body of the piece, the voice gives me a strong sense of her — she’s a self-assured and creative critical thinker.
You do an excellent job, in so little space, of weaving meaning through multiple images. You open and close with the image of a man winking — an act that carries with it power. You then riff on superiority using titles (King, Lord, throne, etc) and on inferiority with the image of the stepping stone. When I finish reading the piece, I feel I’ve been on a journey, following a stumbling, winking king.
I notice that women are only pictured here relative to men. Based on the title, I imagine the narrator would like to picture them in other contexts. What happens after the feminine “stepping stone” pushes the king off and leaves him to help himself “back into his manhood”? Where does she go? What can she do? You might consider adding a paragraph or two, riffing on the themes of royalty, superiority, and power you’ve laid out already, but training them on the “we” of the poem.
Thank you for sharing this piece!
Nicky - facilitator for the WWW at FCC
June 11, 2019 — 2:12 am
Dear Writer –
We read your piece today during the Women’s Writing Workshop at the Fairbanks Correctional Center. What a piece! Here are a few of our comments.
– I enjoyed the realness of this poem
– Thank you for sharing
– Made me think about putting me first. You’re real as shit.
– Hilarious!
– I love the cuss words.
Some of our writers have been using pen names – it lets blog readers look for work by the same author. Maybe you could do that too.
We loved reading your work, The WWW at FCC