I’m scared of what my future holds for me. I’m lonely and weary of the unknown. My heart is heavy and is pounding super hard in my chest. I moved to Fairbanks because I thought I had found someone to love me again. I want someone to do life with. What’s wrong with me? Why did I do this terrible thing to him? How come this is happening? I want to go home. Can I tell him how sorry I am. I’m sorry – will you please forgive me? Do I have a life anymore? Do I get another chance at love? I need help. I need a friend. I want my¬† mom to hold me and to tell me that it’s going to be alright Poobear. God has a plan for me. Why can’t he just tell me already what it is so I can quit screwing up my life. I do better if I have some directions. Why Didn’t my life come with directions? There’s signs and roads for everything else. But for my life all I hear is trust trust trust. Trust what?

I don’t know anymore. I’m so scared. It’s hard to breath. I don’t want to get out of bed anymore. Can I just go back to sleep until I can get some directions for life? Is this really all my fault? Why didn’t I put him in here? We were both to blame.

Poobear