As I sit here, trying to hold back the rage of yesterday and the tears of tomorrow. Trying to remain optimistic for the future. Trying to remain joyful when my heart is aching on the inside. Trying to find beauty behind these eyes… As I sit here digging deeper and deeper within – trying to climb out of this myself. I see that this is not only temporary but came to the realization that all this is only making me mentally stronger. Mentally preparing myself everyday for another heartache, mentally preparing myself for another phone call denied, mentally preparing myself for the judge throwing away the keys
I’m learning that nothing is promised… that people are going to bring you up just to leave you hanging when you need them the most. But honey, you don’t get to take this Joy from me. For Joy is God’s gift. Joy isn’t temporary, can’t be bought or sold. Yes, I gave you my heart but you don’t get to break it… I will rise from these ashes with or without you, stronger than ever before. Because this pain is only temporary and Joy is permanent. Something no one can take away from me.