I am seven weeks sober. I am a true alcoholic. Alcohol has ruined my life any my family over and over again. Alcohol is the reason I will be behind these walls for two plus years. Yet here I sit, unsure when/if I will drink again.

I genuinely want a drink, to drink and think that maybe this time I can control it. But I’m smarter than that and I know that one time is too many, and a thousand is never enough. What kind of person would knowingly put their life and family in danger? Even after the tax man is paid I have a desire to risk it all again. I wish that I could not want. I am weak and it scares me. Will I spend the rest of my life behind these walls?

Step one: Admit that we are weak and that we are powerless, and our lives have become unmanageable. I am powerless and my life is unmanageable.

Please God take this addiction from me. I can’t do it on my own and somedays I don’t know if I want to – but I have to. One day at a time.