It’s almost your birthday. You would have been 43. Hard to believe. I miss you. My heart aches so. So much of my life is consumed with the loss of you. Why can’t I let it go? Why couldn’t I have gone instead of you? Why couldn’t I have gone with you? I am empty without you.

This year is extra hard. Your nephew and I are not doing the greatest. He has not been the same since he has lost you. I wish you were here. I need you. I need this void filled. Mom and I are not the same – we were a trio, but now just a duo. It’s just not the same.


~Chicken Big