after Carrie Fountain’s “First”

I will rush to see the evidence, no matter how gruesome. I need proof of the death blow to the things of my dreams. Constantly being taken or trapped, caught and destroyed by the men who think I am undeserving. I need to understand its death. Every day is a battle with the sexist(s) that care only to sexualize my existence. Thanking God for yet another tomorrow, I fall asleep and awaken anew — set and ready if need be to lay waste and destroy whatever obstacles will fall in my way. I’m determined to find more, be more, succeed more. Because that is what I want. I’m determined to use every second of my time as equally as my peers. No matter what challenges we both face and no matter how many times I watch it die — I will make it new. I will start again from whatever angle need be in order for me to succeed.

No matter how gruesome my journey, I will not be here without leaving my mark and making one new.