Today, my dad would have been 63…he died when he was 49 from alcohol withdrawals. He collapsed right outside of Super 8 motel here in Alaska three days before my 29th birthday. He was 49. These words are not for sympathy but for facts. A scary reminder of what my life may lead to if I hadn’t gotten in trouble last year and been placed on probation for 3 years. This indeed was literally the state biding my time from the addiction demons. I heard a story once of an addiction demon who stalks those most afflicted and who patiently waits for the right time to claim another soul it keeps for itself forever. Scares the life and death of me, makes me pray & hope my 2 sisters aren’t in the demon’s bag of souls. My dad was just a regular Indigeneous man who did accomplish amazing things, plenty to brag about and be joyous for but now can there be a calm, residual loving remembrance of him now that I’ve heard about this thing that I have felt around my presence several time before? Legit, I thought I was too drunk and I was hallucinating but this stuff always managed to pop in my head when I’m having blackout flashbacks? Scary, but life is full of happiness and darkness alike. How we tempt those demons and angels with our decisions is total & utter Free Will.
July 24, 2023