If I could go back in time, I would go back just a few years before we were actually in “the mix.” I have a wooden sign hanging on my dining room wall that says to basically enjoy the little things, someday they will be memories. I never fully appreciated the good, when it was good. My family was whole, happy, looking forward to life together, the problems we faced then seem small in comparison to the issues we face now. I’d like to rewind for us all and just pause in the love we took for granted. Kids running, playing, happy parents willing to help each other. Enjoyment of time spent with one another. I was happy to make sandwiches, I was happy to take on extra tasks, I was happy to argue why I should be there in the custody rooms, now I’m condemned for trying and damned if I don’t. Feel easier to let go, say its not my problem, I fought for years now your mad I don’t want to fight anymore. I’m tired of fighting. I’d just rewind once more, better, happiness, and I’m only in control of myself and my 4 children so for us ˆ have to move away with them and forward together. I have to let go. But I’d like to enjoy those days once more, and throw nothing in the mix, just enjoy us.
–Ladybug
